ACT 1: Screamy Girl Party!!!!!
If one girl turning 13 isn't err....exciting.... enough, what about two of them???? Child's on-again-off-again bestie, by sheer dumb luck, shares the exact same B-Day. Both girls thought it would be a cool idea to have a joint party. Hmmm...all of their communal friends in one spot, at one time- check! All expenses being shared by two families,rather than just one- check! Yep, this was definitely the way to go, and a "meeting" to plan the event was set...
At the local cool coffee place, Child, Bestie, Bestie's parents, and I met to plan the details for the little soiree. We touched on the basics like food, decor, etc. When it was time to discuss entertainment, however, things got a bit weird. In addition to suggesting a rousing game of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" (turning 13, not 3, people!!!!), Bestie's Medical degree-holding 'rents also suggested such timeless amusements as (indoor) blindman's bluff (ummmm....smashing into walls= not fun, luckily the 'rents are anesthesiologists..), and Scrabble (exercising one's brains at a party is just sooooo not cool, folks!?!) Trying to avoid having the girls being viewed as social misfits, I coyly suggested that they, instead, just bring their Wii; Mother saves the day, yet again!
One of the highlights of the Screamy Girl Party was to be a three-tiered B-Day cake, made entirely from scratch by Bestie, her Mom, and Child. Two days before the party, Child had plans to go over to Bestie's house to help decorate... Well, she did, until IT happened....
About two weeks before child turned 13, I was saying out loud (big mistake) that she was being so reasonable about everything as of late. Within days of this great proclamation, little lies about schoolwork started popping up here-and-there. The most treasured iTouch was taken away for a few days, and all was well again in the kingdom (or so I believed...). Turned out that the lesson was not learned, and like weeds in a fertile spring garden, new lies began popping-up everywhere. Child, although not quite 13 yet, had her first serious grounding. Unfortunately, one of the privileges lost was going to Bestie's house to decorate that cake...ouch!
Being the cunning one, Bestie actually approached me, and tried to get me to change my mind on that one- yeah...r-i-g-h-t!!!
Anywhoooo... by the time the eight teens arrived in Thomasville to celebrate with Child and Bestie, all of the stress of the 1st teenage grounding was only a bad memory. As loud and screamy as the girls were that evening, there was a wonderful abscence of 'teen-girl drama', and a great time was had by all- Hurrah!
Act 2: Actual B-Day
There is no greater buzz-kill in the life of a new teen than having to go to school on her actual birthday. Fortunately, a plate of choc. chip pancakes, lovingly made by Mother, can help to soften the blow a bit...
Another awesome way to make the situation better is with some. pretty. darn. good. gifts. When you're 13, darn good gifts are generally clothes....Which involves shopping for Mother, at the local teen store, no less...aaaahhhhh..
With my daughter's happiness in the forefront of my mind, I hit dEliA's. As most of you dear readers know, I can't stand shopping. So, I decided to make the process simpler by soliciting whatever help I could get from the employees there:
dEliA's Dude (DD): "Hi-yeee, how can I help you today?"
Me: (trying to find the right words to describe desired teenage look of the moment) "My daughter wants these shirts that are supposed to be see-through, and that you wear camis underneath?"
DD: "Ooohhhh... you want burnout shirts!" ( obviously more hip than a clueless middle-aged woman, DD smuggly starts moving through the store, eloquently pointing out the many, many options)
Me: (starting to sweat, looking at all of the possible options) "Thanks!"
After finding quite a few burnouts, it was off to find the elusive boatneck shirt. After hunting for awhile, I found a great one- on the mannequin. Yoo hoo, dEliA's dude.... help is needed!
Me: "I really like this shirt on the mannequin. What size is it? There are none left on the floor."
DD: (begins to look nervously at the floor) "I am not allowed to sell clothing off of the mannequin."
Me: "(Look of W-T-F????? We are in a recession, and I am standing here with $$$, that I am actually willing to spend, and you won't sell me a darn shirt??? Hell-OOOOOOO??????)"
DD: (accurately interpreting my cold stare...) "Ok, I guess I can do this. Ummm...it's an XS."
Me: "Cool!!! Strip down the mannequin, I'll take it!"
Now if dealing with me wasn't stressful enough, another Mother and her teen daughter walked in as DD was disrobing the mannequin. They looked over at the shirt, and also began lusting after it...
Other Mother: "Where do you have more of those shirts that you're taking off of the mannequin?"
DD: (looking pretty scared, as there were now two salivating Mothers within grabbing distance of both him AND the most-desired frock..) "Umm... this is the last one." (preparing to run for his life, if necessary...)
Other Mother was not too thrilled to hear this, and watched intently as the boatneck shirt was stripped from the mannequin, and placed in my hot little hand. Fearing for his safety, poor DD tried to ameliorate the "situation":
DD: "Maybe we could call another store for you?"
Other Mother: (looking at me with great annoyance) "We are from out of town, and don't have time to drive to another store"
No dice, Lady! I got there first, and. the. darn. boatneck. shirt. ripped. from. the. mannequin. was mine, mine,... MINE! I hadn't had that much fun shopping (err... messing with another person...)in..well... EVER!
So, on her B-Day morning, not only did Child l-o-v-e her most awesome shirt, she was also amused by the story that went along with it, as to how it had been 'scored' by Mother....
Act 3: Friend!
Because Child's party was of the "Screamy Girl" variety, it wasn't really a scene that Friend (refer to past blogs) would be comfortable in. So, bring on celebration #3!
Child decided that with Friend, the celebration would be bowling and Rocky's for pizza with Husband and I. Not one to be able to keep a secret, Friend texted Child that he had gotten her a gift card to one of her favorite stores for her B-Day. P-e-r-f-e-c-t..... Rocky's is located in the Mall, which also houses the clothing store.... The two of them could go to the store and cash-in the card, without ME! Woo hoo!!!!
So, after bowling a couple of games, we all headed over to the Mall. Because we arrived at 5, it was maximum-security lockdown time; aka parent supervision required... After passing through not one, but two security checkpoints with stern-faced Mall Cops, we arrived at Aeropostale:
Me: "Alright you two, have fun cashing in the gift card. Husband and I will be waiting at Barnes and Noble. Call us before you head over, and we'll meet you down stairs"
Friend: (A bit nervous. Was it because he had an inkling of how s-l-o-w-l-y Child shops, or was he afraid of being snatched-up by Mall Cops?) "Is doing this okay?"
Me: (smirking) "It'll be fine. Just don't run screaming through the store, overturning displays, and dissing the employees. Just call us if you need anything."
Friend and Child: "(Is Mother Kidding? Wait... WHAT?!?!)"
So, Husband and I headed off for some good browsing, and Child and Friend headed off to redeem the gift card. Inside, I was laughing, wondering how Friend would survive the adventure waiting for him....
About twenty minutes later, my cell phone rang, with Child having a question about her size. Five minutes later, my cell phone rang again with Child announcing that they were on their way. Holy Crumb! Whenever *I* shop with Child, *I* never get out of a store in twenty minutes... Oh well, I was happy for Friend...
When the two of them arrived, I asked to see what they got. Child had selected a style of dress that she liked, and Friend had picked the color. I was floored; they had done great, and they both were still smiling... Perhaps I can retire now from shopping in teen stores????
After enjoying pizza at two different tables (but close enough for Child and Friend to signal us in case of encroaching Mall Cops), it was back to Thomasville for B-Day cake #2, and video games. When Friend's Stepdad came to pick him up, he brought a great surprise: a B-day card for Child that was about as loud as an overtired toddler (oh, and he also brought along a real
Rumor has it that next year, Child's 14th B-day will be on an actual Friday the 13th!!! Hmmm...better start planning that now if it's going to outshine turning 13!
No comments:
Post a Comment