Shake, Rattle, and.... BOWL!

Ahhhh.... Winter! Ahhhhh.... Wisconsin! When you put the two of those guys together, you don't always get the most hospitable situation in the out-of-doors. Hunkering down in the 'ol homestead is cool for awhile, but eventually it gets a bit old. Whatever to do for fun in the lovely Midwest? Why bowling, of course!

Originally, we planned to venture out for some bowling fun about three weeks ago; Mother Nature, however, had other plans for us. With near blizzard conditions, we thought it more clever to stay hunkered-down with a Scrabble board instead. Yesterday, however, things looked a bit more promising...

Because Child is an "only" (well, if you don't count her Siamese sibling who gets carsick..), we thought she might enjoy bringing along one of her contemporaries to join us. So, Husband, Child, Gal Pal, and I set out for a fun afternoon at the "lanes".

If you have any experience with bowling alleys, you probably have (not so fond) memories of wafting food, smoke, and foot odors. Shockingly enough, we discovered a local bowling alley that actually has (gasp) none of the aforementioned. Moreover, unlike most other alleys, there are actual windows, and the place is flooded with natural light. The establishment is most definitely not a place where the cast (read:vampires) of "Twilight" would congregate...

Because of the popularity of this particular establishment, they have limited "Open Bowling" times. After allowing Child and Gal Pal to scream/chortle loudly around the 'ol homestead, the four of us headed out to the alley. Apparently, a lot of other people had the same idea. "Holy no room at the Inn, Batman"! Well, when the Lord closes one door, he always opens another (this did happen on a Sunday, after all ); halleluyah, they had pool tables! Gal Pal and Child grabbed a couple of cues, and went about getting their game on. Not much to report on that front, except for the fact that almost everytime that it was Child's turn, I happened to be behind her and almost got taken out by the backwards motion of her cue. Each. And. Every. Time. After about 10 minutes of pool sharking, one of the owners approached our table:

Bowling Dude: "Hi, we've got Lane 3 set to go for you."

Me: "Cool, thanks!"

BD: (assessing the four of us) " What size shoes does everyone need?"

Husband: "10 and 1/2"

Child: "6"

Gal Pal: "6"

Me: "6"

(the wheels in my head started to turn.... I found a b-i-g funny!)

Me: (smirking) "Hey, Dude, looks like we have a 6-6-6...oh, and also a 10 and 1/2" (smiling widely, showing both upper and lower braces shamelessly)

BD: (while facial expression started out in 'neutral', the proverbial light did, indeed, come on) "Ohh, like in the Devil. That's kind of funny!"

After the girls and Husband sunk the rest of the pool balls, we donned our bowling couture (much-loved shoes), and headed over to Lane 3. Having just completing their turns, the previous bowlers were behind us, at the "breakfast bar" area, finishing up their libations. Apparently, one of them had consumed a bit too much of said refreshment, and knocked the glass off of the bar, and onto our couch below. Let's all say it together now: "A-W-K-W-A-R-D"!!!!! Heck, at least he was 'with it' enough to pick up a rag and clean up after himself.... After that *pre-show*, we all set about picking the perfect balls, and away we rolled!

In my opinion, you can learn a lot about a person while bowling with them. People really let their true colors show in both the comments that they make about themselves, and their non-verbal bowling language. Here is my rundown of our 'cast of characters':

Husband: Pretty level headed- gives himself constructive feedback about what to improve for the next go-around. After release of ball, stays in one spot and watches to see what happens, for better or worse.

Gal Pal: Initially when asked if she would prefer bumpers or not, Gal Pal told us that she was pretty good, and could go either way; not in a conceited way by any means, but very matter of fact. She ended up getting more strikes than the rest of us and a tricky split spare. Translation: she kicked all of our butts. When she released the ball, it was always with a perky little hop-step (GP used to Irish Dance...).

Child: Very deliberate in wanting to get her turn over with as quickly as possible. So quickly, matter of fact, that she consistently released the ball way in advance of the line at the beginning of the alley. Very conspicuous scowl on face. As soon as the ball was released, she pretty much 'turned tail and ran' (no backwards 'looksies').

Me: Hyperconscious (read: neurotic) about placement of wrist, as to direct the ball in just the 'perfect' direction. Soothing self talk administered after each turn. After release of ball, watched the action, craning neck, and subtly moving body, in the desired direction of travel for the ball.

In addition, to the personalities of the people who share your lane, you also have the personalities (read: quirks) of the people who border you. Because the alley was so busy, we were lucky enough (*sarcasm*) to have co-bowlers on both sides.

To our left, we had a motley crew consisting of what looked like...well.... members of Motley Crue! Despite the fact that they were rocking their hard rock Ts, and ponytails, these guys were pretty 'hard core'. Their most prominent member, who could have been AJ Hawk's twin brother, ever so c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y wiped off his ball. before. each. and. every. turn. More interesting, though, was the common "Team Crue" element of lofting the ball about 6 inches into the air after releasing it. As bizarre as it looked, however, AJ was scoring stikes on almost every turn. After the first couple of minutes, all of us became accustomed to their loud, "Thunks!", and we no longer jumped out of our skins. Yep, "Team Crue" really rocked it!

On our right,... well,... let's refer to them as "Team Vodka" (Help me out here; read between the lines so I don't have to get too politically incorrect ). There were about eight of them, spilling out everywhere. While we were waiting for our turns, they were in our faces. When we were actually in the act of bowling...oh, mama! It is pretty well known in "bowling ettiquette" that, like crossing the street, one should glance to the left and right, and not go at the same time as one of your neighbors; aiming a ball takes strict concentration after all, and shouldn't be messed with. Apparently, that memo never reached Planet Vodka (Motherland). Everytime one of us approached the lane, one of them would literally come flying down the lane, ball in hand, out of seemingly nowhere. Apparently, they also never learned not to touch what wasn't theirs, and kept bogarting Husband's ball. The final guffaw was when they (f-i-n-a-l-l-y) finished bowling (or so we thought), only to have one of the dudes return in his street shoes (kiss of death in bowling etiquette) to bowl a few more frames for 'free'. Yep, quite an experience in US/ Planet Vodka diplomatic relations...

Deciding that since Gal Pal, Child, and I all had stuck three of our 'favoritest' fingers inside of the same hot pink ball, we chicas headed off to the restroom to scrub up. When we returned, I asked Husband how much our two games set us back. Shockingly, it was about 50% less than the *other* bowling alley located in Forks (shameless Twilight reference..)! That type of news was cause for celebration, so Child, Husband, and I headed out not only for a rare restaurant dinner, but a 31 flavors "chaser", as well. Suffice to say, the good times did, truly, roll!