The "FU 40s"

A lot of my blogs tend to lean towards the humorous realm. This is not one of those blogs. If you prefer the lighter side of life, and don't want to hear me vent/bitch, please jump to a different place on the Web NOW....

The title of this is kind of interesting, huh? I was reading a great book yesterday about women reinventing themselves at midlife (which, in this book, is defined as 50- some good news for me, I guess!). The 50s are defined as the "FU 50s" because the author contends that around this point in our lives as women, we feel freer being who we are/saying what we believe (less pressure to please and adapt to the 'status quo'). After the experience that I had yesterday, I've decided to (once again) be the "Queen of Early", and adapt this philosophy towards my newly-entered 40s. Here's the 'backstory' on how this great epiphany came about...

My daughter was sitting at the table eating her afternoon snack, and just seemed to be a bit off. I asked her what was up, and she informed me that a certain sub-set of her peers /parents find me "weird". Having the sense of humor that I do, and my penchant for Austin Powers-type movies, I was like, "Yeah.... DUH!" Well, apparently my "weirdness" goes beyond that; apparently, I am pretty off-the-mark in my parenting skills! Here are my shortcomings, in no particular order: 1) I am hyper about my child being sunscreened (the child has ALBINISM for heaven's sake!), 2) I won't let my child don a bikini (I am trying to teach the kid modesty; would the women who walk around wearing one of those walk around in public wearing their underwear and a bra???? I think NOT..), 3) While I expect my daughter to initiate/create her own plans, I feel it's reasonable to touch base with the other parent(s) about 'housekeeping details' (pick-up times/supervision/etc), and 4) I will not let my daughter have a Facebook Page (heck, even FB won't let kids under the age of 13 sign up, unless, of course, they lie about their ages...). Yep, I'm a pretty crummy/'weird' parent....

When I was in elementary school/middle school/high school and college, I had some great female friends. I also met a lot of really cool friends out in the "working world". It wasn't until I became a parent that the "shit hit the fan" with other women friends; or shall I say more accurately, "Mommy Friends" (the mothers of your daughter's friends). When my daughter was a very young baby, I had a pretty hard adjustment to parenthood; the sleep deprivation just utterly kicked my butt. As soon as the sleep situation improved, my daughter was given a serious (at the time) diagnosis, that would have our family unclear of the outcome for a number of years. This was a time when I really needed my friends. Unfortunately during that lovely period,
a lot of women I believed to be friends criticized me behind my back, and those friendships blew up. Boy was that an unpleasant eye-opener! A couple of years later, when my daughter was in elementary school, she was placed in a classroom with a special needs child, whose mother was a pretty active PTA member. That mother had the expectation that my daughter would be responsible for constantly hanging out with her daughter (who had issues with social behaviors, unaddressed by any of the adults in the picture). Every time my daughter tried to pursue new friendships, and nicely told the other girl that she wanted to play with someone else at the moment, the "mommy recess aides" would require my daughter to be trailed by this other child. Feeling that issues should be dealt with at the source, I spoke about this with the girl's mother (thinking that we were at least "Mommy Friends"). To put it nicely, the other mother did not appreciate me coming to her directly/honestly to try to resolve things. For the next three years at that elementary school, other mothers who had previously spoken to me/had playdates would no longer speak to me, or acknowledge my daughter's phone invitations to their daughters for playdates. Nice...

Yesterday's discussion put my emotions right back to where they were all those years ago. If some adult has an issue with the way that I parent, it seems to me that she should either have the character to come to me directly to discuss it, or just keep it to herself. Telling her daughter her "opinions", while telling her kid not to tell mine (yeah, right!) is pretty hurtful. When my husband came home from work last night, we talked about this for awhile. When we went down to talk with our daughter about it, my husband really earned some bonus points; he told our daughter that if that kid/parent was criticizing me, they were actually criticizing BOTH him and me, because we are a parenting team (LOVE that guy!). It was a pretty amazing dinnertime discussion, as our daughter really listened to what we were saying, and started to think a bit more critically about what her friends/friends' parents were saying about our family. Nice to know that something really great came out of something that started out pretty badly...

So...back to the whole point about the "FU 40s".... The big mental/emotional challenge for me today was to decide how to react to this whole thing. My traditional response would have been to simply 'hermitize' myself, and just go underground for awhile. Instead, however, I have come to the decision that I am comfortable with how I am raising my child. My home/family mean everything to me, and I love to share both with people who enjoy/appreciate them. We are what we are, and who we are, around here; no more apologies! May I raise my glass of Evian to you, the "FU 40s"!!!!!

A Penny Saved Is A Penny... SPENT!

I woke up this morning to the glorious beginning of Week 2 of Summer Break. The sun was shining, Child lazed around in bed until the luxurious hour of 8:30 AM, and I was caffeinated/sunscreened for my morning walk. What more could I want? Well, put in a different light, what more would I not want...

After an hour of strolling through the serenity of nature, I arrived back at my abode, sweaty and ready for a nice cool shower. As I made my way through the mudroom, and into the "main house", I caught a glimpse of Child. She was grasping something in her hand. Upon closer examination, it appeared to be one of her purses. So the fun began...

Child: "Mommy, I have to talk to you about something. I need you to listen to me. Two of my leotards are too small, and I have been eyeing two of them at the Gym. I'd like to buy one today." (For the record, all of her leos fit)


(Mother ponders the fact that Child was damning her sport just the other day. Funny how the tide turns...)

Mother: "Three weeks ago you spent $18 on a pair of velour shorts to go over your leos, thus extending their lives (note to gymnastics "newbies"- velour shorts are great because when worn over a slightly too small leo, they can disguise a wedgie really well; thus allowing leos to be worn longer). On Father's Day, you dropped almost $12 at Beans and Barley on pins! There has been a lot of spending, as of late..."

Child: (interrupting, the fire going to two alarms)"But gymnastics is everything! I will only have two leos that fit, and that I actually like!"

Mother: (readying the "psychic fire extinguisher)"Two leos are fine. We'll just wash them both mid-week, and you'll get through a week of practice."

Child: "HMMMPPPPP (growl)!!!!!!!!!" (leaves the room)

With Child out of my line of vision for a brief period, it gave me time to mentally prepare for the second wave of attack that I knew would be imminent......

Child: (entering room with fists clenched, knees locked, and a scowl on face)" All of the other Moms at the Gym buy their kids leos all the time! I said that I would buy it with my money!! You don't even have to pay anything!"

Mother: (working the tranquility mantra) "I know that you have offered to buy the leo; that's not the point. The point is that it is not a good "money decision". You have been spending quite a bit of money as of late on impulse items. What about saving the difference for the North Face jacket for Fall? What about those jeans from Delia's that you were talking about? Weren't you planning on getting some deco items for the Teen Zone???"

Child: (While still maintaining the closed fists, locked knees, and scowl, a deep red begins to creep across the facial area. The two alarm fire is about to become a three alarm one) "IHATEYOU!"

Like taking an ill-fated curtain call, Child again stormed out of the room. I couldn't help but laugh/smile at the fact that we had just achieved an exciting milestone in our Mother/Daughter relationship; the uttering of the first, "IHATEYOU!", directed at 'dear old Mother'.

So...about five minutes passed, and Child, again, appeared on the scene. Knowing that we needed to be out the door in less than an hour for gymnastics, it was necessary for Child to eat. Believing in the curative properties of food, I saw an opportunity...

Mother: "Hungry?"

Child: (semi-sheepishly)"Yeah"

(Mother presents Child with some (feel good carb) pasta and strawberries. The scowl is now replaced by the facial muscles used for chewing. All is good)

Mother: "Learning to manage money is really a hard thing. I used to spend too much of my money on sweatshirt after sweatshirt at your age!"

Child: (looks amused... Mother did something dumb???) "Really? How do you learn how to do the 'money thing'? "

Mother: " It takes time and guidance to figure out how to handle your finances. No one is born knowing how to do it. A person needs to be mentored. Daddy and I are here to help you with that, and we'll be happy to help you with advice even after you leave home."

Child: "HmmmpppOK"

Happily, the "fire" never did reach the four-alarm stage. Child regained her emotional equillibrium after lunch, and pranced off to practice her floor routine in the Family Room. Hopefully, there was a bit of wisdom learned from that "heated exchange", which will "simmer on the back burner" for awhile. As far as myself, I'm glad to have survived the three alarm heated argument without being singed by a fire-breathing tween dragon!

Co-Dependent No More....

I always like to look at the 3 month Summer Break as a great chance for social/emotional growth. Every June, I wonder what "new lessons" will be learned by the time September rolls around. I pondered these thoughts as I was out for my walk this morning. It struck me that creating change in my own behavior could possibly yield some positive growth in Child...

Anyone who reads this blog is probably aware that at least 3 entries focus on my daughter's ineptitude/dislike of the phone. While I have been able to find quite a bit of "funny" in all of this, this little "problem" will have some pretty sad consequences, if left on its present course..

Because school ended last week, the ability to see friends on a daily basis has disappeared. Sure, the kids are pretty scheduled all day, but there are opportunities to chat/make plans/connect. Knowing that going from constant activity/people to a pretty quiet house would be an adjustment for Child, I figured that I should probably give her a "lay of the Summer Land":

Mother: "Summer is here. This is going to be a pretty quiet week for you. You are welcomed to invite someone over for Thursday and/or Friday. Just make sure that you do your calling when I'm home, so I can talk to the other adult."

Child: "( tinkers with any small object within grasping reach to avoid eye contact with/answering Mother)"

Father: "It just takes 5 minutes of arranging plans to enjoy a whole day of fun! You always have a great time when friends come over!"

Child: "I'm on vacation from calling anyone this week. Maybe next Monday..." (Child then scurries away from the table where Mother and Father are seated, loading the dishwasher w/o even being nagged! Anything to stop the discussion...)

After realizing that approach didn't lead to a "eureka moment", I tried another route:

Mother: (trying not to get too deep, this is aimed at a pretty "black-and-white" kid, after all) "I need to talk to you about friendship."

Child: "(eyes glaze over, then start scanning the room for something to tinker with)"

Mother: "Friendship is something that you need to nurture, to take care of. You do this by showing interest in the other person. When you call someone up just to ask about their day, or to invite them to do something, you are showing him/her that you care. Auntie "____" and I hadn't seen each other for seven months before we got together this afternoon. If it weren't for our chats on the phone, we would be pretty removed from one another's lives. Do you kind of get where I'm coming from?"

Child: "( Huh? Did you say something, Mother? I was just working over some Justin Bieber lyrics in my head!!!!)"

Okay.... still no power to the 'ol "lightbulb in the cabeza"! One last college try:

Mother: " 'Friend' is going to Mexico for a week. Are you going to give him a call and wish him a nice trip?"

Child: "hmmmpppp"

Mother: "You are always complaining that ____ (other female, most despised by Child) calls him all of the time. As annoying (and 'stalkeristic') as her MO is, she is showing interest in him/his life. When you ignore someone, the general vibe that you're giving out is that you could care less. You say that you consider him to be a friend; is this the message that you want to be sending?"

Child: (Gives Mother one of her "specialities of the house", a big 'ol sneer, and leaves the room)

Well, this final exchange was the "come to Jesus" moment; ironically enough, not for "Child", but for me. It was then that I realized that by either nagging her to call a friend, or actually making the arrangements on her behalf, I had taken away her ability to manage/nurture her friendships. Feeling a little bored and lonely? Good opportunity to check the "daily schedule" with Mother, and see if a little get-together could fit in. Slightly apprehensive about dialing/speaking on a phone? Well, if you don't no one else is going to! Feeling a 'pit in your stomach' after having neglected to stay in touch with someone, and then having to endure seeing that person with new people who get the concept of being a friend- OUCH! Yep, it occurred to me that by "cruise directing"/facilitating, I have prevented all of these lovely scenarios from happening. Pretty accomodating in the "here and now" , but not at all helpful for learning real life lessons/consequences of behavior. Better to have her squirm a bit under my safe roof as a twelve year-old, than to become a lonely, socially inept adult, clueless in the art of friendship.

So... It should be an interesting Summer around here. I can see my "little intervention" going very well (Child develops a taste for "reaching out and touching someone"), or pretty bad (Child's headstrong nature wins out, and she chooses to be miserable rather than take a chance at some personal growth). I just need to remember that, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." And take a couple of deep, cleansing breaths...

All Good Things Must Come To An End....

There have been school years where not only Child, but Husband and I as well, desperately counted down to "the end", "fin", "game over". Interestingly enough, these years have traditionally been the "odd numbered" ones. Being that Child just finished 6th Grade, the "doomsday countdown clock" was never activated this year...

Last year during 5th Grade, all Child (and we, as parents) heard was how Middle School was going to be a H-U-G-E transition. It was a year of "in Middle School, they won't accept this", and "you better get this in line before Middle School." Needless to say, 5th Grade was pretty much a buzzkill, and the "doomsday countdown clock" was polished and set on top of the mantle a week before the "big day".

Apparently, the 5th Grade "Teacher Soothsayers" were a bit off-the-mark on what the 6th Grade experience would turn out to be. Child enjoyed a great year with enthusiastic teachers, who guided her gently along the path to success in her new environment. She made some new friends, and kept the old. She learned to be more responsible/organized. She even experienced her 1st crush, and remained sane. All around, it was just a great year; I don't know what more any of us could have asked for!

How to end such a great year... We enjoyed lunch in "Thomasville" with "Friend", his twin brother, baby brothers, and parents. Child, "Friend", and "Twin Bro" frolicked in the backyard, played Twister (Child opted out of "twisting", and just spun the spinner and laughed at the boys), and had an impromptu "phone tutorial"! Yes folks, something definitely froze over today!Child picked up the "house phone" (aka landline), and started messing with it. "Friend" looked over at her, smiled, and asked who she was calling. This is when the "eureka moment" came to me:

Mother: "______, you should call _____("Friend") on his cell phone and get over your fear of it!"

Friend: "I'll call her."

(Friend confidently, and authoritatively, types in the digits)

(The handset in Child's hand rings. Shockingly, she answers it on the first ring...)

Child: "Hello"

Friend: "Hi. You should go in another room so I can't hear you." (Friend and Child are sitting 5 feet apart)

(Child takes the handset, and disappears into the basement. Her voice is audible through the ceiling as Child, like her Mother, is able to project her voice quite well)

Friend: "I can hear you through the ceiling (laughs, after all, this is the "King of the Laugh Attack"....). Go in the little room with the litter box!"

(Child obliges, and her voice can still be heard through the ceiling, but not as much as before. The two converse for about a minute)

Friend: (to Mother, who is in the same room he is calling Child from)"Why is she afraid of phones?"

Mother: "I have no idea."

(Child emerges from the "Underworld" (basement). She and Friend smile at one another. Could this be the beginning of cellular/landline communication...Stay Tuned!)

After lunching, badmitting, and general merry-making, it was time to say good-bye to Friend et al (Baby Bros need naps, after all). Even though Child knew that she would be leaving shortly for a friend's house for dinner/sleepover, she looked utterly dejected. When asked why she was so sad, she burst into tears, saying how much she would be missing her Math Teacher. This Math Teacher, who is now officially retired, was one of those rare individuals who believed that any child had the ability to suceed, and taught her classes accordingly. Earlier that day, she had written in Child's autogrpah journal that she was so grateful that Child transferred into her class because otherwise she would have "never gotten to know one of the most precious girls in the 6th Grade." Whoa... tears for two, please! Yep, it was a banner year...

So, after some quality time with a Kleenex box, Child and I worked together to get her overnight bag/sleeping bag ready to go. As we approached the car, Child started to tear up again. I unlocked the backseat doors for her, so she could put in her luggage, and then it happened.... As she was placing her stuff into the car, Child noticed something on the backseat. She flipped it over, and it was a laminated picture of Friend (which he had dropped in the backseat of the car on the way home from school). Holding/looking at the picture instantly took away the sadness of missing her favorite teacher. They do say that the Lord works in mysterious ways, after all... When we arrived at her sleepover, she was once again a happy camper (picture of Friend safely packed-away into the overnight bag). It's looking like the great "First Day of Summer Vacation" will also be a great night!

Just say "No" to the 'Kiddie Cocktail'...

After not seeing Child for a whole day (she was off at her school's Rocket Day with Husband), she was actually more talkative than her usual "primal grunts" in response to my attempts at conversation. Should be a lively commute to take her to the Gym, I thought...

After getting the lowdown on the day's events, the conversation somehow turned to her 2 BFFs. Apparently, they all like Tombstone Pizzas; like, oh-my-gosh- MIND MELD! Her BFFs, however, have also acquired tastes for Kiddie Cocktails and "Margaritas"........ Can you hear this conversation sccreeeccchhhing to a stop?????

Ever since Child was small, Husband and I have told her where we stand on alcohol consumption by minors, which would be none until you're of legal age- thank you! We don't believe in "giving sips and samples." I also have quite the issue with the concept of giving a child their own "drink" ("kiddie cocktail"), so they can start young in navigating the nuances of becoming an experienced social drinker. Not being one to beat around the bush, I have told Child why I disagree with those things many times. Leaning towards the obstinate/argumentative side of the spectrum, she loves to challenge/debate/argue....

Child: "____ told me that when I come over, we can have Tombstone Pizza, and her Dad will make me a "Kiddie Cocktail"- he's really good at making them!"

Mother: "Pizza=yum. Cocktail= not so much!"

Child: (regressing back to the lovely 2s)"Whhyyyyyy?"

Mother: (shaking head and sighing)"Daddy and I have told you many times why we don't agree with those things. Drinking alcohol is not for kids, and "pretending" is just bizarre. No."

Child: (Energized for the big fight, Child reaches to push the largest button of all) "I don't understand why a kid just can't have a whiskey...."

Mother: (Years of talks about alcohol flash before Mother's eyes. Her grip tightens on the steering wheel, the sounds of "one hand clapping" booming inside of both eardrums)"Alcohol affects brain function, and decision making. It is not for kids- period."

Child: (not quite satisfied yet, Child asks a further question to see if she can turn Mother completely gray in the 6 minutes left to get to the Gym) "Then why can adults drink it?"

Mother: (working that "tranquility mantra") "I've told you many times that alcohol is only OK for adults over 21 in moderation, and only if they will not be driving."

(Child appears to be mulling this over a bit. Mother feels the need to remind Child of the most important point of all...)

Mother: "In our family, there is no alcohol use by those under 21, and no sort of drug use/abuse-period. If either occurs, we'll be giving you a free ride to the local Police Dept. The law is the law."

Child: ( wind has gone out of the "argument sails") "Yeah, I know."

I'm pretty comfortable that Child knows where Husband and I stand on these important issues. I think that she knows I'm dead serious about involving the Police for underage drinking/drug use. While I'm often snarky and sarcastic, these two issues are not the least bit amusing to me. While they are bad enough for either gender, the consequences for a girl can be really scary. When I send Child to parties, I check in with the host parents to get the "lay of the land". When she entertains friends at our home, I take my job of supervising seriously; I'd want the other parents to do the same for my kid! What scares me the most is that the 'parent bartender' of today (making kiddie cocktails and kiddie margaritas) could be the "I'm-the-cool-parent-who-serves-alcohol-at-my-house-but-takes-all-of-the-kids-keys" in the future: now that's a sobering thought, huh?

So, when I offer up beverages to young visitors at my home, it'll be along the lines of lemonade/milk/iced tea/water. If they're looking for anything resembling a "cocktail", they're welcome to come back when they're 21....

The "Tram I Am"....

For about the first time in recent memory, the weather where I live was p-e-r-f-e-c-t over Memorial Day Weekend. Usually, we are blessed with cold air/rain; but not this year! Yes, it was a lovely holiday weekend filled with lots of gardening, a party/sleepover for Child, and a trip to Old World Wisconsin (OWW). For those of you unfamiliar with it, OWW is an outdoor historical museum, complete with authentic period buildings, and re-enactors dressed in period clothes. You can watch the "natives" cook period food, and tend their gardens/animals. It's a pretty nice outing, all in all. So, on Sunday Husband, Daughter, Friend {if you are a regular reader of the blog, you might recognize him from his appearances in 1) "The Amazing, Mystifying, Puzzling Phone", 2) "Phone Follies... Part Deux", and 3) "ET Phone Home? Yeah, When Hell Freezes Over!"}, and I set out on a balmy 88 degree Sunday Morning to take in the sights....

To get to OWW from my neck of the woods, it's about 45 min/one way. Because of that amount of time to be spent in the car, I recommended to Child that she perhaps bring something along to do, including her iPod to share with Friend. We arrived at Friend's house, and he plopped into the family roadster, as cheerful as always. I think he thanked us for taking him about three times before the car even shifted into reverse to leave his driveway (LOVE that kid's manners!). After about 10 minutes of leading the small talk between Child and Friend, I realized that something was needed to kind of "break the ice": time for Child to shine! Child loves to make what I call "mouth noises". Her latest creation is a sound that could best be described as Alvin the Chipmunk on "uppers". While it's not my favorite thing to listen to, I figured that it might be just the trick....

Mother: "_____, you should show______ that noise that you make!"

Child: "Mooommmm! (child feigns embarrassment, but is really intrigued by the possibility of having a free pass to make obnoxious noises)"

Mother: (to Friend) "_____, close your eyes! You've GOT to hear this!!!"

(Friend obliges and closes his eyes, smiling in anticipation of the sideshow to come)

Mother: "_____'s eyes are closed. Go ahead, do your schtick!"

(Child starts in on her routine. Friend starts laughing hysterically. Child comes up with as many songs to make the Chipmunk noise to as possible. Friend has now acquired hiccups, and his side hurts. Mission accomplished; the ice has now been broken)

Like clockwork, we arrived as the gates opened at OWW. After being given our "non-historic" blue bracelets, we were free to enter the grounds. Knowing that we would have two tweenagers with us, it was pretty much a no-brainer to me that lunch should be first on the agenda. OWW has a nice area right off of the entrance to picnic at; lots of beautiful pine trees, and plenty of picnic tables. Since it was a holiday weekend, and nice weather to boot, I figured that area would be jammed with similar-minded people. I was wrong. Husband, Child, Friend and I were the only ones in the whole picnic area! After doing a quick visual to make sure that the Blair Witch wasn't stalking us from the woods (which would explain why we were the 'only ones left'), we all sat down to lunch.

After taking advantage of indoor plumbing (as compared to the labeled "rustic toliets" throughout the grounds), it was time to see the sights. Our usual tradition is to hike from area to area, and then hop on the Tram near the end of the experience. Almost immediately after leaving the entrance lodge, both Child and Friend were kind enough to inform us of how hot it was. We took that info under advisement, and started booking towards the first settlement. We entered the first building, a Church, and sat down for the re-enactor's lecture, which I have no memory of at all; the dude was simply obsessed with repeating the mantra of "watch your step!" every time someone entered the building. Uninspired, we headed out for the next building.

Friend: (looking a bit glassy-eyed) "I can feel heat coming out from that door!"

Mother: "Uh, yeah....you're right. (peers inside the cabin) It looks like they're cooking some period food on the stove."

(Child and Friend enter the cabin and get as far away from the stove as possible. While the re-enactor unenthusiastically gives her canned shpeil, both kids start edging towards the exit)

Mother: "You guys ready to go?" (Mother is too slow, by the time the question has been asked, the two of them have already high-tailed it out of there).

The next building was the Blacksmith Shop. Friend brought up the very logical point that it was probably hot in there, too (love that kid!). Well, when you're in OWW, you've got to take in all of the experiences, so in we went... The Blacksmith was actually pretty informative, and interesting to listen to. Well, that was until some obvious OWW Blacksmith Groupie disturbed his "flow". This woman started talking to him about his personal life/baby daughter, which caused him to jump out of his 1860s "character". He told all of us observers that, "he is a Blacksmith, and any guy who would want to date his daughter someday better look out!" Friend and Child looked at each other and laughed. Buzzkill.... time to leave the "inferno"!

We paused to look at some goats, and to check out another house. Then...we heard it- THE TRAM! Both kids looked over desperately at it, and then looked at me and Husband. Now being an anal retentive person, my plan was to hike all over the grounds (and get good and tired) and then partake of the lovely transportation. Looking in the kids' faces, however, it was pretty obvious that the Tram was the key to making the whole "experience" a good one. Smug with the proof that Husband and I were, indeed, made of heartier "stock" than a couple of tweenagers, we all boarded the Tram.

Now, if you're unfamiliar with the OWW Trams, let me paint a picture for you... These wonderful, modern modes of transport are driven by some of the finest retired gentlemen that you'd ever want to meet. Bless them, for they have a very high tolernace for driving the same route for up to eight hours a day, and have an amazing knack for taking hairpin turns, w/o capsizing the titanic-sized vehicle. So, as expected, Child's and Friend's faces lit up, as the local dust pummeled their faces, teeth, and hair. Child even launched Friend into yet another laughing fit, as she dramatically flung her head backwards, only to dislodge her hat; which ended up on the edge of the speeding Tram (Mother later rescued it). After about 20 minutes riding in circles, it was time to leave the Tram, and for Child to perform her "mainstage act": Dr. Dolittle!

Those of you who are pretty familiar with both Child and myself know that we are both vegetarians. Our love for animals goes beyond not just abstaining from eating them, but also for conversing with them, as well. At home, Child is able to make a high-pitched chirping noise that her Siamese Sister will chirp right back at (when I try, not so much). Knowing her knack for this, I suggested that she see if she could get the chickens we were standing by to "talk" to her. She made her best chicken noises, and on several different occassions, she got those darn birds to respond to her! After asking her how she did that, Friend once again indulged himself in a little "laugh fest". Soon after, a re-enactor walked by, and told us to go check out the "mother pig". Hmmm..... another animal to charm? Heck, we were on THAT! After looking inside of a couple of pens, we found the pig. We quietly watched her for awhile, before Child, again, worked her mojo. The pig walked over to Child, and stuck her snout through the fence. The pig then proceeded to itch herself from top-to-bottom (read: fence makes good TP, apparently) in front of Child. Laughing fits followed, and then it was time to catch another Tram....

After a stop back into the main lodge for some "vintage" candy sticks, and a blast of a/c in the car, life sprung back into Child and Friend. I think they got a little bit of history out of the whole thing, but, more importantly, they had a whole bunch of fun! That, my friends, is definitely time well spent!