Just say "No" to the 'Kiddie Cocktail'...

After not seeing Child for a whole day (she was off at her school's Rocket Day with Husband), she was actually more talkative than her usual "primal grunts" in response to my attempts at conversation. Should be a lively commute to take her to the Gym, I thought...

After getting the lowdown on the day's events, the conversation somehow turned to her 2 BFFs. Apparently, they all like Tombstone Pizzas; like, oh-my-gosh- MIND MELD! Her BFFs, however, have also acquired tastes for Kiddie Cocktails and "Margaritas"........ Can you hear this conversation sccreeeccchhhing to a stop?????

Ever since Child was small, Husband and I have told her where we stand on alcohol consumption by minors, which would be none until you're of legal age- thank you! We don't believe in "giving sips and samples." I also have quite the issue with the concept of giving a child their own "drink" ("kiddie cocktail"), so they can start young in navigating the nuances of becoming an experienced social drinker. Not being one to beat around the bush, I have told Child why I disagree with those things many times. Leaning towards the obstinate/argumentative side of the spectrum, she loves to challenge/debate/argue....

Child: "____ told me that when I come over, we can have Tombstone Pizza, and her Dad will make me a "Kiddie Cocktail"- he's really good at making them!"

Mother: "Pizza=yum. Cocktail= not so much!"

Child: (regressing back to the lovely 2s)"Whhyyyyyy?"

Mother: (shaking head and sighing)"Daddy and I have told you many times why we don't agree with those things. Drinking alcohol is not for kids, and "pretending" is just bizarre. No."

Child: (Energized for the big fight, Child reaches to push the largest button of all) "I don't understand why a kid just can't have a whiskey...."

Mother: (Years of talks about alcohol flash before Mother's eyes. Her grip tightens on the steering wheel, the sounds of "one hand clapping" booming inside of both eardrums)"Alcohol affects brain function, and decision making. It is not for kids- period."

Child: (not quite satisfied yet, Child asks a further question to see if she can turn Mother completely gray in the 6 minutes left to get to the Gym) "Then why can adults drink it?"

Mother: (working that "tranquility mantra") "I've told you many times that alcohol is only OK for adults over 21 in moderation, and only if they will not be driving."

(Child appears to be mulling this over a bit. Mother feels the need to remind Child of the most important point of all...)

Mother: "In our family, there is no alcohol use by those under 21, and no sort of drug use/abuse-period. If either occurs, we'll be giving you a free ride to the local Police Dept. The law is the law."

Child: ( wind has gone out of the "argument sails") "Yeah, I know."

I'm pretty comfortable that Child knows where Husband and I stand on these important issues. I think that she knows I'm dead serious about involving the Police for underage drinking/drug use. While I'm often snarky and sarcastic, these two issues are not the least bit amusing to me. While they are bad enough for either gender, the consequences for a girl can be really scary. When I send Child to parties, I check in with the host parents to get the "lay of the land". When she entertains friends at our home, I take my job of supervising seriously; I'd want the other parents to do the same for my kid! What scares me the most is that the 'parent bartender' of today (making kiddie cocktails and kiddie margaritas) could be the "I'm-the-cool-parent-who-serves-alcohol-at-my-house-but-takes-all-of-the-kids-keys" in the future: now that's a sobering thought, huh?

So, when I offer up beverages to young visitors at my home, it'll be along the lines of lemonade/milk/iced tea/water. If they're looking for anything resembling a "cocktail", they're welcome to come back when they're 21....