The "Tram I Am"....

For about the first time in recent memory, the weather where I live was p-e-r-f-e-c-t over Memorial Day Weekend. Usually, we are blessed with cold air/rain; but not this year! Yes, it was a lovely holiday weekend filled with lots of gardening, a party/sleepover for Child, and a trip to Old World Wisconsin (OWW). For those of you unfamiliar with it, OWW is an outdoor historical museum, complete with authentic period buildings, and re-enactors dressed in period clothes. You can watch the "natives" cook period food, and tend their gardens/animals. It's a pretty nice outing, all in all. So, on Sunday Husband, Daughter, Friend {if you are a regular reader of the blog, you might recognize him from his appearances in 1) "The Amazing, Mystifying, Puzzling Phone", 2) "Phone Follies... Part Deux", and 3) "ET Phone Home? Yeah, When Hell Freezes Over!"}, and I set out on a balmy 88 degree Sunday Morning to take in the sights....

To get to OWW from my neck of the woods, it's about 45 min/one way. Because of that amount of time to be spent in the car, I recommended to Child that she perhaps bring something along to do, including her iPod to share with Friend. We arrived at Friend's house, and he plopped into the family roadster, as cheerful as always. I think he thanked us for taking him about three times before the car even shifted into reverse to leave his driveway (LOVE that kid's manners!). After about 10 minutes of leading the small talk between Child and Friend, I realized that something was needed to kind of "break the ice": time for Child to shine! Child loves to make what I call "mouth noises". Her latest creation is a sound that could best be described as Alvin the Chipmunk on "uppers". While it's not my favorite thing to listen to, I figured that it might be just the trick....

Mother: "_____, you should show______ that noise that you make!"

Child: "Mooommmm! (child feigns embarrassment, but is really intrigued by the possibility of having a free pass to make obnoxious noises)"

Mother: (to Friend) "_____, close your eyes! You've GOT to hear this!!!"

(Friend obliges and closes his eyes, smiling in anticipation of the sideshow to come)

Mother: "_____'s eyes are closed. Go ahead, do your schtick!"

(Child starts in on her routine. Friend starts laughing hysterically. Child comes up with as many songs to make the Chipmunk noise to as possible. Friend has now acquired hiccups, and his side hurts. Mission accomplished; the ice has now been broken)

Like clockwork, we arrived as the gates opened at OWW. After being given our "non-historic" blue bracelets, we were free to enter the grounds. Knowing that we would have two tweenagers with us, it was pretty much a no-brainer to me that lunch should be first on the agenda. OWW has a nice area right off of the entrance to picnic at; lots of beautiful pine trees, and plenty of picnic tables. Since it was a holiday weekend, and nice weather to boot, I figured that area would be jammed with similar-minded people. I was wrong. Husband, Child, Friend and I were the only ones in the whole picnic area! After doing a quick visual to make sure that the Blair Witch wasn't stalking us from the woods (which would explain why we were the 'only ones left'), we all sat down to lunch.

After taking advantage of indoor plumbing (as compared to the labeled "rustic toliets" throughout the grounds), it was time to see the sights. Our usual tradition is to hike from area to area, and then hop on the Tram near the end of the experience. Almost immediately after leaving the entrance lodge, both Child and Friend were kind enough to inform us of how hot it was. We took that info under advisement, and started booking towards the first settlement. We entered the first building, a Church, and sat down for the re-enactor's lecture, which I have no memory of at all; the dude was simply obsessed with repeating the mantra of "watch your step!" every time someone entered the building. Uninspired, we headed out for the next building.

Friend: (looking a bit glassy-eyed) "I can feel heat coming out from that door!"

Mother: "Uh, yeah....you're right. (peers inside the cabin) It looks like they're cooking some period food on the stove."

(Child and Friend enter the cabin and get as far away from the stove as possible. While the re-enactor unenthusiastically gives her canned shpeil, both kids start edging towards the exit)

Mother: "You guys ready to go?" (Mother is too slow, by the time the question has been asked, the two of them have already high-tailed it out of there).

The next building was the Blacksmith Shop. Friend brought up the very logical point that it was probably hot in there, too (love that kid!). Well, when you're in OWW, you've got to take in all of the experiences, so in we went... The Blacksmith was actually pretty informative, and interesting to listen to. Well, that was until some obvious OWW Blacksmith Groupie disturbed his "flow". This woman started talking to him about his personal life/baby daughter, which caused him to jump out of his 1860s "character". He told all of us observers that, "he is a Blacksmith, and any guy who would want to date his daughter someday better look out!" Friend and Child looked at each other and laughed. Buzzkill.... time to leave the "inferno"!

We paused to look at some goats, and to check out another house. Then...we heard it- THE TRAM! Both kids looked over desperately at it, and then looked at me and Husband. Now being an anal retentive person, my plan was to hike all over the grounds (and get good and tired) and then partake of the lovely transportation. Looking in the kids' faces, however, it was pretty obvious that the Tram was the key to making the whole "experience" a good one. Smug with the proof that Husband and I were, indeed, made of heartier "stock" than a couple of tweenagers, we all boarded the Tram.

Now, if you're unfamiliar with the OWW Trams, let me paint a picture for you... These wonderful, modern modes of transport are driven by some of the finest retired gentlemen that you'd ever want to meet. Bless them, for they have a very high tolernace for driving the same route for up to eight hours a day, and have an amazing knack for taking hairpin turns, w/o capsizing the titanic-sized vehicle. So, as expected, Child's and Friend's faces lit up, as the local dust pummeled their faces, teeth, and hair. Child even launched Friend into yet another laughing fit, as she dramatically flung her head backwards, only to dislodge her hat; which ended up on the edge of the speeding Tram (Mother later rescued it). After about 20 minutes riding in circles, it was time to leave the Tram, and for Child to perform her "mainstage act": Dr. Dolittle!

Those of you who are pretty familiar with both Child and myself know that we are both vegetarians. Our love for animals goes beyond not just abstaining from eating them, but also for conversing with them, as well. At home, Child is able to make a high-pitched chirping noise that her Siamese Sister will chirp right back at (when I try, not so much). Knowing her knack for this, I suggested that she see if she could get the chickens we were standing by to "talk" to her. She made her best chicken noises, and on several different occassions, she got those darn birds to respond to her! After asking her how she did that, Friend once again indulged himself in a little "laugh fest". Soon after, a re-enactor walked by, and told us to go check out the "mother pig". Hmmm..... another animal to charm? Heck, we were on THAT! After looking inside of a couple of pens, we found the pig. We quietly watched her for awhile, before Child, again, worked her mojo. The pig walked over to Child, and stuck her snout through the fence. The pig then proceeded to itch herself from top-to-bottom (read: fence makes good TP, apparently) in front of Child. Laughing fits followed, and then it was time to catch another Tram....

After a stop back into the main lodge for some "vintage" candy sticks, and a blast of a/c in the car, life sprung back into Child and Friend. I think they got a little bit of history out of the whole thing, but, more importantly, they had a whole bunch of fun! That, my friends, is definitely time well spent!